Move it on over.

I am moving my blog to Tumblr! I really like the format - it's free flowing and allows for more creativity. The new address is http://mentalhygiene.tumblr.com.

Eight miles and runnin'.

Some of you have asked for a Shady update - I guess it has been a while. The latest news is that we are trying a longer needle, and we just increased her insulin dosage again. It's been over 3 months now and she's still nowhere close to being stabilized. I can't tell if the longer needle is helping - supposedly absorption may have been one of the issues. Last night was the first reading we've had in a few weeks that has not been in the 300-500+ range. That was encouraging. She doesn't seem to feel bad though, and besides being thirsty and hungry all the time, seems to be ok. I think that's the important thing!

Tom is in Raleigh tonight at Amra's. So far he's gotten a lot of publicity from the radio show - I am still so impressed by how well he did! We will be busy for the next couple of weeks getting things finalized for the benefit show... I think it's going to turn out really well. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

I never wanted to be your dancin' shoes.

Touch, Feel and Lose - Paradiso 2001.

Young At Heart.

Something worth checking out: Young At Heart

Tom Rhodes on the radio!

If you missed Tom's interview and live in-studio playing today on WUNC's The State of Things, you can listen or download it here.

Listen to Tom on the radio tomorrow!

Listen online tomorrow to Tom Rhodes live on WUNC-FM’s “The State of Things” with Frank Stasio. The show runs from 12-1 p.m.; Tom’s portion begins at 12:30.

Vintage.

Pitter patter! Update 4/16/08: Good lord. I watched the video so many times that I broke it. New video uploaded.

If that's what you're into.

The song stuck in my head today, thanks to a conversation with Lauren. Update: video works now!

Beach bound.

This can't be it.

I am now going into mourning.

Update on the pink shoes

They arrived today and I LOVE THEM. Omg I love them. It is wrong how much I love them. I want another pair. What is wrong with me!?!?

P.S. Jayla is on the way here right now and I know she will also love my pink shoes. I wish they made them in her size so I could get her a matching pair. I did however get her some green and pink sandals from Old Navy, which are on or about the same level of cuteness as my freaking awesomely cute pink boat shoes.

The end.

Unsolved Mysteries

Is there some secret ingredient in white cheddar popcorn that makes you physically unable to stop eating it?

Rock For The Cure

Saturday April 26 - at 16 Taps in downtown Wilmington - Rock for The Cure. To raise money for breast cancer awareness and research. Prizes, raffles, games, and a night of great music with Tom Rhodes and the Rhodes Squallers, L Shape Lot, Doug Siegel, Jake Phillips, Sam Fisher, and Fred Flynn.

Virgin Mobile Festival 2008

I am so excited about this.

I just bought pink boat shoes.

Let's ignore the fact that I wear flip flops 24/7/365 and pretend this is a rational purchase. Does this officially make me a boating enthusiast? Still pondering this, but there's no denying the cuteness.

Rah rah, Carolina-lina.

Out of all the #1 seeds in the NCAA tournament, only ONE has an athlete graduation rate higher than 50%.

You see where this is going, I'm sure. Carolina has an athlete graduation rate of 86%. Kansas - 45%, Memphis and UCLA - 40%.

I wonder how much of this is attributed to players leaving early for the NBA.

FYI, Duke's graduation rate is only 67%. Just another way that we are better than them. (:

ESPN says: Academically, this year the Final Four would include five teams: Western Kentucky (100 percent graduation success), Butler (92 percent), Notre Dame (91 percent), Purdue (91 percent), and Davidson (91 percent). Xavier, a No. 3 seed, was close behind with a 90 percent success rate.

Love/hate.

I LOVE this commercial.

And then there were ones.

For the first time in NCAA tournament history, the Final Four is comprised of all the Number 1 seeds. On Sat. April 5, UNC plays Kansas, UCLA plays Memphis. It's just as I predicted in my bracket! (:

I'm starting to question my choice of Memphis beating UCLA though. I think it's going to be UCLA vs UNC in the final. With Carolina winning, of course!

I <3 Psycho T!
GO HEELS!!

It's beautiful to be good.

One of my favorite causes to support is wildlife in Africa. I just heard about this new haircare line by Kate Hudson and her hairdresser, David Babaii, that was created from completely natural, organic ingredients, and donates a portion of its proceeds to WildAid, a global wildlife conservation organization. None of the products are tested on animals - only on Kate.

You can read more about WildAid here.

I'll remember you in the blue skies.

Citizen Cope had a show scheduled at the Lincoln Theater in Raleigh in a couple of weeks, but I couldn't go - and it ended up being canceled. But just today he announced one at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach - one of my favorite venues for live music. I bought a ticket for Tom and I immediately (after checking his schedule to make sure he didn't have a show). I am so excited!

The son's gonna rise in a mile.

Just wanted to remind everyone (all 4 of you that read this) about Earth Hour - tonight at 8 pm (your local time). All you have to do is turn your lights off for one hour to have a tremendous effect on climate change. Cities and people all over the world are participating. It's easy to do something good!

My new mantra.

NC Voter Registration Info

The North Carolina Presidential Primary on May 6th will have added significance this time around due to the close race for the Democratic nomination between Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton.

The deadline to register to vote is April 11th.

You must be registered as either a Democrat or Unaffiliated to vote in the Democratic Primary. While Arizona Sen. John McCain has already clinched the Republican nomination, NC Republicans will also vote on May 6th.



One-Stop Absentee Voting
If you miss the April 11th deadline, North Carolina will be holding "One Stop Absentee Voting" from April 17-May 3.

What this means is that within these dates, you may register and vote at the same time, but you'll have to show up at a One Stop Voting Site.

You can find them through your county's Board of Elections.

In New Hanover County, you can vote at one of these 3 sites: The Board of Elections (230 Government Center Dr.), the Senior Center (2222 S. College Rd.), or the Main Library downtown (201 Chestnut St.).

Be sure to bring identification with name and current address.

Once again, you can register and vote at the same time from April 17th-May 3rd if you miss the April 11th deadline to register.

If you miss the deadline, this is your only way of voting.

You will not be allowed to vote on May 6th.

In addition, you are not allowed to change your party affiliation during one-stop voting if you are already registered.

Make any party affiliation changes by the April 11th deadline.



Mail-in Absentee Voting
Absentee ballots must be requested by April 29th and must be signed and hand-written.

They must be mailed in to your county's Board of Elections.

(New Hanover: Mail to New Hanover County Board of Elections, 230 Government Center Drive, Ste 180, Wilmington, NC 28403)

If you are 17 years old, you are eligible to vote in the primary as long as you will turn 18 by November 4th, the date of the general election.

You can check your registration status online here.

We all want something beautiful.

[Reposted from people.com]



It hasn't been an easy road for Counting Crows lead singer Adam Duritz. While touring the world and performing onstage for adoring fans, the "Mr. Jones" singer was battling severe depression and an inability to connect with people, he reveals to PEOPLE.

"I've been dealing with mental illness," Duritz, 43, says. "But I didn't want to say anything for a long time. I went crazy. It was scary."

After years of not knowing exactly what was wrong with him, he recently found a doctor who diagnosed him with a disassociative disorder, which can distort reality for those who have it.

"Being crazy is bad," he says. "It's scary when the world isn't real to you. You come untethered. Everything seems imaginary. You look around the room and nothing seems real. You don't feel pain. I stopped letting myself feel."

Now, almost six years since the release of their 2002 hit album Hard Candy, the Counting Crows are back with their newest studio album, Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings, a double album inspired by the painful emotional journey Duritz experienced.

"The album [out March 25] is about a downward spiral, losing my mind and about trying to get it back," he says. "Not about getting it back but trying to get it back."

The album is divided as such: "The Saturday Nights record is about madness and spiraling out of control and disillusionment," explains Duritz. "The Sunday Morningsrecord is mostly about failing at the things you're trying to do when you are getting better. It's not redemption, necessarily. It's more like the hangover."

As Far Away Mentally as I Can Be
One of his lowest moments came on tour, when he lost two of the people he was closest to on the same day. "We were in Perth and in one 10-minute period I got a text message from my girlfriend telling me that I needed to get out of her life – eight minutes after the phone call from my mother that my grandmother had died.

"So not only am I as [far] away physically as I could be in Perth, which is farthest city from any major city on earth – but I am as far away mentally as I can be. So I lost a girl and my grandmother at the same time."

His grandmother's health deteriorated severely after a stroke. "In the last five years of her life I barely saw her because I was always working. She didn't recognize me. To her I was this fat, hairy, bearded guy with dreadlocks. I think I scared her some of the time. And then it was too late."

Instead of boarding a plane back to the United States for his grandmother's funeral, he decided to continue with the tour – with his "obligations." It was a friend's tough words that convinced him otherwise. "I thought about everything all night long. I decided to go to the funeral. Getting from Perth to Baltimore is not easy in one day," Duritz says.

All in a Song
The song, "Hanging Tree," reflects the angst he felt during this time. "It's about losing that girl. It's a snapshot about when I am very much in love but I know I have to leave ... I wasn't good at being caring. It was a lot to handle me. I was 10,000 miles away and I wasn't there for her."

The saddest song on the album is "On a Tuesday in Amsterdam Long Ago," he says. "It goes, 'Come around. I'm still here.' And the band is still here. We're still here 18 years later because we work our asses off. No matter what was going on in my private life, I played my heart out up there. The hours onstage are magic. I love playing gigs. I have been so lucky to have this one in a billion chance to do what I love."

And life is certainly better for him these days. "My friends are trying to find a wife for me," he says. "I'm dating a girl right now and a bunch of people are coming up to me and saying, ‘We love her. We love her.' " As for his take on her: "She's wonderful. I'm lucky to know her."

Really?

When would you EVER need a purse this big? Is it so you can crawl in it and hide if you need to?

Lighten Up.

Hilary Duff is blonde again. For the record, I don't see it.

The sun'll come out tomorrow.

Hope everyone had a happy Easter weekend. I was spoiled by the 4 day weekend and now I need another. Jayla's visit was way too short and I miss her tremendously. I will get to see her again next Friday though. If it weren't for that I think I might not have gotten out of bed today. I think the pollen has a lot to do with how depressed I feel - I just felt so yucky today.

So here's Jayla in her Easter dress, which I got to see her in because she wouldn't take it off, even for the 4+ hour car ride.

We went to the Aquarium yesterday, which was pretty fun. I'd never been there even though I've lived in Wilmington for 7 years. We saw Nemo, of course, and some sharks and turtles and jellyfish and all kinds of stuff.

My nephew Chase is visiting Disney World this week - I have never been but I am sure he's having a great time. I can't wait to see the pictures and hear him talk about it.

Carolina had two easy games this weekend - scoring 100+ pts in back to back games. Sweet Sixteen games start Thursday - I hope they are as easy as the first 2 rounds. If they make it back to the final game, I will be back in Chapel Hill... I wouldn't miss it.

Happy Birthday to Matt today, and congratulations to Claudia and Josh who just got engaged! I don't know if I mentioned Erin and Mark, who got engaged on Valentine's Day, but I am so excited for all the engagements happening and all the love that's in the air. (:

P.S. ZOMG - George Michael just announced a US tour!!1!

Things that I think are awesome...

... and wish I actually had time for:

• SouthParkStudios.com [beta] is live! [From Gawker] The maybe-a-little-bit-groundbreaking ad-based site allows users to stream every single episode from every single season of the maybe-a-little-bit-groundbreaking animated series for free. This development, coupled with the debut of [non-beta] Hulu, bodes well for television obsessed people who have way too much free time on their hands. Hopefully a SwansCrossingStudios.com isn't far behind. (Haha!) Oh! And! There are tons and tons of clips that you can embed on your blog website! Just like the wonderful Scientology clip here:

Really?

Zubaz pants are back?

Srsly?

I mean, FINALLY!

I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want.

I'd like to welcome the newest member of our household, the entertainment center! After ordering it what feels like ages ago, and the first time it was delivered it was all smashed, now we finally have it and it's not smashed and we put pretty things on it and it looks great! Although it makes it look like our TV is a miniature TV but oh well. I love it!

I am soooooo excited to see my mom and Jayla tomorrow! It has been months since I've seen them, I think this is the longest I've ever gone w/o seeing them. I miss them so much. Even though it's a quick visit, I am grateful for it and can't wait for them to get here tomorrow night. Tom and I worked allll day loooong trying to get the house clean and ready and organizing and going to Goodwill and the recycling center and doing laundry and I still am not done but I am so exhausted. I feel more tired right now than I did last weekend after running 6.2 miles and dancing for hours!

I love that Duke lost to WVU today. I love even more that I picked it in my bracket.

If you're one who celebrates Easter, then Happy Easter! If not, then happy first weekend of spring!

P.S. In case you were wondering, yes, that IS a Shady bobblehead on the top shelf.

Oh My God, Whatever, Etc.

All I’m saying is, if you are planning to wear that electric blue Marc Jacobs raincoat to the prom, one of us is getting our weave pulled out.

A challenge to the conscience of the world.

There's a lot going on in the world right now, and recently in the news we've heard a lot about a situation that is near and dear to me. The human rights violations in Tibet... if you've been following the events, you know of the suffering and repression and violence that has been going on as the Tibetans are struggling to make their voices heard. Demonstrations continue to happen all over Tibet and the death toll continues to rise.

There is one good side to all that is happening - it has brought the situation to the forefront of the news and people are starting to be made aware of the atrocities that the Chinese government has been committing for years, and continues to commit.

So I am hoping the publicity will spark some change. Already some positive things have happened - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is meeting with the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala, and has harshly condemned China's actions. She is calling for an outside investigation into the situation and some of China's allegations against the Dalai Lama.

There are a few things you can do to help if you live in the US:

1. Call on President Bush not to attend the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games in August. From Steven Spielberg to parlimentarians, many leaders are rethinking their involvement. We need to demand that our leaders stay away from the opening ceremonies in the wake of the bloody and continuing crackdown in Tibet. You may reach the U.S. President at 202-456-1111 or by email at comments@whitehouse.gov.

2. Visit www.racefortibet.org, or www.savetibet.org for more information, or to make a donation to the International Campaign for Tibet,

March Madness

(Click to view larger version)

Fuel burning fast on an empty tank.

Today was the 4th Annual Steve Haydu Lo-Tide Run on Carolina Beach. My first 10k ever. After seeing some pictures of other St. Patty's Day festivities, I decided I wanted to dress up and of course Nicole was also stoked about this idea. So we came up with a costume that consisted of awesome green/white striped knee high socks (which Nicole wrote our last names on!), green/white retro 70's running shorts, custom made shirts (also with our last names on them) and shamrocks on our faces. Also, I wore a shamrock headband while Nicole wore shamrock wristbands. It was AWESOME!! We got so many compliments on our outfits and have decided this should be a yearly tradition to run this race.

The weather was PERFECT even though the forecast called for a possibility of thunderstorms (which we're getting in a major way right now). There were a lot of people participating (there was also a 5k), and lots of our awesome friends came out to cheer us on and begin the St. Patty's weekend celebration!

It was fun, but challenging - especially the last 1/4 mile which was on the actual beach (sand!). I worked hard to train for it and am glad that I did it. Some others in our group of friends are now inspired to try a 5k, so the next one we do will definitely be a lot of fun! Most of the pictures taken are on Nicole's camera, so as soon as she uploads them, I will post a link.

Tom is playing tonight at Slick + Red's, but if the weather does not get better I don't know if I will be going. There are tornado watches and warnings right now and are supposed to last until 1 am. The thunder and lightning outside right now is fierce! Shady is practically on top of me. She is not a fan of thunderstorms.

I just finished Middlesex (read my review). I think I will start Random Family next... I have been looking forward to reading this one for a while.

I have officially recovered from the heart attack Roy's Boys gave me today... I was not expecting such a close game against Va. Tech, esp. considering their last matchup had UNC winning by 40 pts. But today came down to the last 0.08 seconds and a shot by Psycho T... and they won. I seriously chewed my lips for the last 15 minutes... I do that when I am anxious or nervous! ALSO, second best to UNC winning is Duke losing, which THEY DID, to Clemson! Duke sucks. Tomorrow UNC plays Clemson for the ACC Championship... then the real March Madness begins with the NCAA Selection.

I think it's time to end this novel of a post... not much else to report anyway. For those of you wondering about Shady -- her blood sugar is STILL super high. She is still on antibiotics though so I am hoping that as soon as she finishes them, the insulin will work better.

The baffled king composing Hallelujah.

Tonight's title is in honor of the great Leonard Cohen, who was inducted tonight into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Although maybe I should use a different lyric... Hallelujah has been covered so many times that there are many who don't know it's a LC original. It's funny, today on Gawker there was a post/graph about people covering Hallelujah. I personally can't complain because Jeff Buckley's version happens to be my very favorite.

Tonight when I was updating my nike+ training log, it gave me this warning about my shoes:




You can click for a larger version but it says: There are 303.57 mi logged on the shoe named 'Kinsei'. Because this is 3.57 mi beyond the designated cumulative distance of 300 mi, you may want to retire this pair of shoes. Once a running shoe has passed its distance lifespan, the cushioning material begins to lose its effectiveness. Updating your running shoes can help avoid injury; we recommend that you begin to run with a new pair."

I agree completely, Nike! Which is why I have a new pair of Asics waiting to be broken in. Hopefully I can get to that before the St. Patty's Day run. There are so many great features of nike+ and the nike+ site, including the training log, which I am a little bit obsessed with. In a good way.

Just finished Interpreter of Maladies! Am hoping to start Middlesex soon (just got it today, thanks Katie!), but I know tomorrow night is reserved for the LAST SHOW EVER of the best show on TV. (The Wire, obvs). Yep, now we all have to quit cold turkey.

Led Zeppelin performing now, going to go pay attention!

In life I know there's lots of grief.

My grandma called me earlier tonight because she is pretty shaken up over the murder of Eve Carson. For those not familiar with the story, she was the Student Body President at UNC-Chapel Hill (where I went to college), and she was found dead Wed. morning, after being shot several times. It is so sad and disturbing and shocking. I didn't know her but just knowing of her, you have to wonder how something like this could happen. Chapel Hill is not a place where murder is common. There are not random drive-by shootings or even a lot of drug-related crimes. It makes it that much more mysterious and confusing as to what happened. The police said last night they were searching for a suspect who was recorded attempting to use her ATM card and was driving what they thought was her car, or a car that belonged to her? I really hope they get some answers soon. I can't even imagine what her family and friends are going through. Something like this would just tear me to pieces. I've been thinking about it a lot too, it has really disturbed me and it makes you think a lot about life and how nothing is guaranteed. My heart is in Chapel Hill in spirit and I hope everyone can begin healing soon.

On a less serious but also somber note, we bid farewell this week to NFL legend Brett Favre. I am sad to see him retire, but after hearing his reasons, no one can possibly blame him. He played 17 long and successful seasons, and he works as hard as anyone does. He just doesn't want to do it anymore, and if your heart's not in it, you shouldn't be either. I'll miss watching him on Sundays, but I'll be hoping he's happy wherever he is.

And on a final note... I should not be doing things like making shirts after I've taken Ambien. In fact I probably shouldn't be typing right now. I was making mine and Nicole's shirts for our St. Patty's Day race next weekend, and one of the shirts was inside out and I didn't realize it. So I ironed on the design on the inside of the shirt. And wouldn't ya know, it DOES NOT come off. So now I have to hope I can find another shirt and that I have enough ink to print out another design (:

I miss Tom! He's only been gone a few hours but just knowing I won't see him until Tuesday makes it seem like forever! Ok, time to go test Shady before I get too out of it, otherwise this could be dangerous!

Hey - Wait! I've got a new complaint.

I am NOT a fan of Daylight Savings Time. At least not the way it works right now. Why do they take away an hour of my weekend? Don't they know that the weekends are the only time I can get ANYthing done?!? I would be perfectly happy if it happened on a Monday, say at 3 pm or something. Why does it have to be an hour of sleep I miss out on? Or an hour of doing something productive, or even relaxing? Not cool. Not cool at all.

Yesterday there was no relaxing. I was a nervous wreck about the game and put all of my nervous energy to good use, doing some spring cleaning. OH - in case anyone needs clarification... the Carolina/Duke game. The first time they play in the regular season is still a big deal, but for some reason I don't get as worked up about that one. It also depends on how the first meeting goes - if Duke wins, the next game is HUGE, because we have to win. Anyway... that was yesterday. And we won!!! I am a little bit superstitious so now I will have to wear the shirt I had on for every game they play now (:

Shady still has an infection, is still taking antibiotics, and as of this morning, is not eating. And I can't give her insulin until she eats. Her blood sugar has not come down yet... it's like a catch-22... the blood sugar being high causes the infections, and the infections/antibiotics keep the insulin from working effectively. Something's gotta give but I don't know what it will be.

Just started reading Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpa Lahiri. So far it's really good...

Tom is headed to Raleigh today for a show tonight at Amra's on Glenwood Ave. Then Monday night he'll be at Crowley's, also in Raleigh. Things are exciting right now - we have a publicist working with us, and right now she's at South by Southwest doing some promotion. Hopefully some good things will come of this, I am excited about it.

xo

Things that I think are awesome.

#1. Today is National Grammar Day!

#2. Polaroid Digital Picture Frame


Polaroid Digital Picture Frame

There's a dry erase portion on the bottom, and the frame can stand on its own or be pinned to a cork board for added realism. "Standard" mode emulates a regular digital frame, while "Classic" mode slowly fades the picture into view.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow...

I don't know if there's anyone reading this who lives in Texas, but if so, please read the following information. It explains how the Texas primary is different from other states - and it's more crucial this election year than ever.

In Texas, you can vote twice on Tuesday, March 4 - once in the primary between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., and then again in your local caucus at 7:15 p.m. Both count toward delegates needed to win the nomination.

Your primary location and caucus location are the same place. Find it at Barack Obama's website: http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/txevlookup

You can also call the Texas Secretary of State with any questions at (512) 463-5650 on a weekday.

You must vote in the primary to vote in the caucus. Caucus leaders should have a list of who voted – but if you have your marked voter card or your receipt from early voting, bring it.

If you voted early, you can still caucus. But your location is NOT necessarily the same as where you voted. So be sure to look up your standard voting location at the Secretary of State's website.

Visit the Move On website for more information.

She's going the distance.

I debated over whether to keep my travel plans for this weekend. I had planned to go see my family... my mom, my sisters, Jayla and Chase, my grandparents. I'd decided to take Shady with me (Tom had to stay for a show), for a few reasons. When I leave her, even though she looooves Tom, she gets kinda depressed. And I would've worried about her. But I kept feeling these bad vibes and I decided to listen to my gut and stay home. It crushed me though because I was sooo looking forward to seeing everyone, esp. Jayla. I have not seen her since her birthday, the first weekend in Jan. To be only 3 years old though, she was very understanding. I talked to her for almost an hour yesterday and she kept asking me if I would come to her house when Shady felt better.

Anyway it's a good thing I stayed, because after going to the vet yesterday, it turns out Shady has a "raging bladder infection." (The vet's words) He gave her a stronger antibiotic than usual and said that the infection could be why the insulin does not seem to be working. And it explains why she hasn't been feeling well this week. So I am glad I stayed, it seemed to be for a reason after all. We have to check her again next Friday to see if the infection has improved any.

I ran 7 miles yesterday! My farthest run yet. I felt great afterwards but it definitely took a lot out of me! I had to stop for water and food a few times, otherwise my little hypoglycemic body might not have made it. I feel a little bit more prepared for the St. Patty's Day 10k now.

I'm trying to figure out what book to start next. I think maybe Into the Wild. Tom just read that and loved it. I just finished Water for Elephants, which I highly recommend.

Can't you see my walls are crumbling?

I know that worrying does no good. Whatsoever. I know that. Yet, all I have done all day is worry. I just feel so helpless and lost and I have this ominous feeling that things are not going to get better anytime soon. Shady tested at 342 last night at 10 pm, which is a little high for that time frame, but it was expected since she had missed a dose and was switched to a new type of insulin. So I wasn't alarmed. But this morning, twice, she tested LOW. LOW as in the tester did not even give me a #, it just said LOW. Which means it's really low. So she ate some honey and some turkey and then I tested her again before I grudgingly left for work and she was at 40. Which is still super low, esp. for her. So Tom tested her again later and she was up to 110, and then before he left she was at 250. So she got better, but what scares me is the unpredictability and inconsistency. There is no pattern, no reason behind any of the readings. I feel so uneasy all of the time. I never feel like things are just going to be fine. It's like I'm always waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. I hate that feeling.

The vet mentioned testing for Cushing's again. This is something else that is weighing on my mind. Say they test her and she does have it. The treatment, as far as I know, involves chemotherapy, radiation, etc. She's an 11 year old dog of a breed whose life span averages 9-11 years. How could I put her through that? It would be so selfish of me to do, wouldn't it? But how could I live with the guilt of knowing I might have been able to extend her life a little bit longer? But then, does she even want to live longer? Is she miserable? I just don't know.

I heard today that William F. Buckley died. I am not too familiar with him, but I do know of him because we had a dog once named William F. Buckley. My dad named him that. I'm not sure why. Was he a big fan of Buckley? That doesn't seem logical because my dad was a liberal hippie musician, and wasn't Buckley like the poster child of conservatism? I am puzzled but may never know the answer to this.

They litter me with small awareness.

I want to introduce you to two new blogs in the immediate blogosphere. The first is from the brain of the BMOHE (Best Maid of Honor Ever!!), Katie. A Hungry Bear is about her food ideas and cooking experiences, and let me tell you, the pictures alone will make you drool! It's fun to live vicariously through Katie's cooking adventures and I am looking forward to trying some of her recipes!

The second is a book review blog, essentially... no explanation necessary, really. There are going to be several people posting about books they've read, books they are reading, books they want to read... if you're interested in being an author on the blog, just let me know! There's no such thing as too many books. Oh, that one is called A Book and a Blanket.

UPDATE: I didn't know about this one until today, but Jen has a recipe/cooking blog too! You can check it out here: More Than Mac And Cheese.

We are the change we have been waiting for.

There are just a few primaries left in the US, and two big states will be holding their elections on March 4. The race is still up in the air even though Barack Obama has won the last 11 contests. In case you have not yet voted in your state's primary and are undecided, I just wanted to share some links about Barack Obama, what he stands for and believes in, what his positions are on the major issues, etc.

Learn more about Barack Obama

Campaign Blog

The issues

Fact Checking

Unlike Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama does not accept donations from Washington lobbyists or special interest groups. He relies instead on a network of grassroots supporters to raise funds for campaigning. If you feel, like I do, that he is the best candidate to lead our battered country in the right direction, consider making a donation to support his campaign.

"I'm big in Japan."

Last night during his show, Tom told a story about how his music had been on a show in Japan, whose title translated as "Texas Fight, Man of the House." It paid $0.37. Yes, thirty seven cents. But unfortunately the check he got was for $0 because all of the money was used for processing fees.

The show was a lot of fun and Tom was great as usual. It was really good to see everyone who came, it felt like it had been forever since I'd gone out. It's actually only been a month, but that's a long time to go without seeing some of your friends. Anyway, we all had a lot of fun last night, thanks to Tom Rhodes and the Rhodes Squallers.

Shady is getting ready to start a new type of insulin. After two months trying this first type, there is still no sign of stabilization and even after switching her injection site, (from her neck to her side which is supposed to have better absorption), she's still all over the place. Hopefully this new type of insulin will help.

So refinancing is done, after a dramatic week that included losing my homeowner's insurance due to their No Rottweilers Policy, and frantically trying to find new coverage before the loan closing. I'm glad that's all over. I can't believe Feb. is almost over. 2008 is flying by so far. I keep waiting for life to slow down a little bit but it never does. I don't think it's going to anytime soon either... I think I am going to be doing the Battleship Half Marathon in November. I haven't fully committed yet because right now 13.1 miles still sounds like A LOT to me, but I am going to start training for it and see how it goes.

Speaking of running, I'm going to go for one now while Tom is still sleeping (:

You put the grey skies outta my way.

Today was Shady's belated birthday trip to the beach. The weather was absolutely beautiful and the wind was blowing so much. I tried to capture it in the picture, you could see the sand blowing across the beach and it looked really cool. I think Shady had a good time.

I went for a run outside today but it was so windy, the wind blew my earphones out of my ears. No kidding. It was ridiculous.

I tried to do my taxes yesterday. That was challenging for a lot of reasons. Basically there's a lot of deductions, like interest paid on student loans, that I can't claim unless I file with Tom. We were going to each file separately, but apparently we get a lot of breaks for filing jointly. Soooo we'll see how that goes.

Jen gave me her recipe for buffalo chicken dip which I made today and it was delicious! Yummmm. It was a great snack. Tonight is the Grammys, which I feel are becoming less and less relevant. But the Foo Fighters are performing so I'll at least watch that. Or record it. AND a new episode of The Wire! I can't say enough how good that show is. I don't know why this is the last season of it, if it's because not enough people watch it or what. But it's good. Oh, the writer's strike is supposedly over. Yay! I haven't really missed TV all that much but I would like to see the end of Scrubs. That's another great show that no one watches. Anyway, it was a productive weekend overall but it went by way too fast, as usual!

Lay me down in sheets of linen

This week has been much less chaotic than last week. So far it's been good... our house appraisal went well and I'll be closing on the new loan in a week. Tom came home late Tuesday/early Wed. and I'm glad to have him back. He's playing tonight at Front St. Brewery. Oh, and I dropped the ball on the Whittaker Bay thing... his song 'I'll Wait' was featured on the show last weekend. I had so much going on that I just forgot... I recorded it though and I really hate to say anything bad about the show because obviously they have great taste in music, but... the show is just hard to watch. I'll leave it at that. However, there is some cool stuff going on. We're working on the breast cancer benefit show that I think is going to be great and we should have a date confirmed in the next couple of days. Also, a management/publicity company that I sent Tom's press kit to contacted me today and said she LOVES his music (how could she not?) and wants to know what she can do to help! So we'll see how that goes. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much because the music industry is very tough, but I'm encouraged by the fact that she is interested and actually communicates -- that's a start! I'm also submitting him to some festivals and working on some other things.

Tomorrow is the day I send Shady's #s to the vet for analysis... this week has been up and down again. But I hope the vet sees progress somehow. I just wish I could find a pattern to why the lows are low and the highs are high.

I was glad for Tom to come home, but what made his return even sweeter is that he came bearing a gift from Sean... a super duper awesome iPod docking speaker system thing! Tom set it up last night and the sound is crystal clear. It's shiny and awesome! I'm speechless, really. It was so unexpected and so generous and thoughtful. I feel so lucky to have inherited these great friends of Tom's!

He also brought some boxes of books from his mom. I am looking forward to going through them, she reads a lot of the same stuff as me and even though I am behind as it is on the book club books, I am always excited to have new books.

Ok, I'm exhausted. The game last night wore me out. I'm trying to forget it even happened.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

There's 1 second left in the game and the Giants are about the win the Super Bowl, beating the undefeated-til-now Patriots. I know there are a lot of heartbroken Pats fans out there and I am sorry for rubbing it in but YAY GIANTS!! No one thought they even had a chance to win! I love rooting for the underdog. Unless the underdog is Duke.

Anyway I was looking for something and I found my old blog from years ago. And I was reading some of the posts, and one of them was an old IM conversation with one of my friends from college and it's just too hilarious to not repost here so I can come back and read it whenever I want. It might not make sense to most people, or to anyone, but still, it's freaking funny.

(03:25) jonnyWOOhah: hola poproxhox
(03:25) hollyhox110: hola jonnywoooooooooooooooooooooooohah
(03:25) jonnyWOOhah: wooooooooooohaaaaaaaaaah
(03:26) jonnyWOOhah: how are you?
(03:26) hollyhox110: hola jonnywoooooooooooooohaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
(03:26) hollyhox110: bueno
(03:26) jonnyWOOhah: what ya been up to?
(03:26) hollyhox110: partying like a rock star, kicking a little ass
(03:26) hollyhox110: �y tu?
(03:26) jonnyWOOhah: oh, of course
(03:26) jonnyWOOhah: should have known
(03:27) hollyhox110: and shibbying
(03:27) jonnyWOOhah: i'm in charlotte right now
(03:27) hollyhox110: sweeeet
(03:27) jonnyWOOhah: i was in chappy hill last night
(03:27) jonnyWOOhah: i saw damien in woody's
(03:27) hollyhox110: sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
(03:27) hollyhox110: awwww damien! i heart him
(03:27) jonnyWOOhah: we talked about you, of course
(03:27) hollyhox110: you did?
(03:28) jonnyWOOhah: you heart him, that's good 1
(03:29) jonnyWOOhah: just that you're great and
(03:30) jonnyWOOhah: neither of us have seen you in a while
(03:30) jonnyWOOhah: we miss you
(03:30) hollyhox110: i think i've seen damien since i've seen you
(03:30) hollyhox110: just kidding
(03:30) jonnyWOOhah: wow
(03:30) jonnyWOOhah: haha
(03:30) jonnyWOOhah: just picture 2 drunkasses in woody's going "we wish morgan was here!"
(03:31) hollyhox110: awwwww
(03:31) hollyhox110: thats so cute!
(03:31) jonnyWOOhah: how's the graphic designing coming along, creative one
(03:32) hollyhox110: just wonderfully
(03:32) hollyhox110: hows the porn coming?
(03:32) jonnyWOOhah: haha
(03:32) jonnyWOOhah: i get it, "coming"
(03:32) jonnyWOOhah: well, we're on hiatus right now
(03:32) hollyhox110: hahahhahahaha yeah thats how i meant it
(03:32) hollyhox110: i get it "hiatus"
(03:36) jonnyWOOhah: have you seen the previews for this week's friends yet?
(03:36) hollyhox110: yes!!!
(03:36) jonnyWOOhah: what is that all about?
(03:37) hollyhox110: ross + rachel better not be getting married or i'm never watching it again!
(03:37) jonnyWOOhah: i know right
(03:39) jonnyWOOhah: they were NOT on a break1
(03:39) hollyhox110: i know!
(03:40) jonnyWOOhah: are you black yet?
(03:40) hollyhox110: hmmmm not really
(03:40) jonnyWOOhah: hmmm hehe
(03:40) hollyhox110: i got a tattoo
(03:41) jonnyWOOhah: really?
(03:41) jonnyWOOhah: of what?
(03:41) hollyhox110: my whole left arm is covered, its naked women and skulls and pirate ships
(03:41) jonnyWOOhah: wow awesome
(03:41) hollyhox110: just kidding
(03:41) jonnyWOOhah: be serious, you weirdo
(03:41) jonnyWOOhah: haha
(03:41) hollyhox110: a tiny little horses head on my left side hip
(03:41) hollyhox110: its all black
(03:42) hollyhox110: like a silouhette or whatever
(03:43) jonnyWOOhah: oh cool
(03:43) hollyhox110: too bad you don't live in wilmington anymore, its fun here
(03:43) jonnyWOOhah: haha shut up!
(03:43) hollyhox110: haha
(03:43) jonnyWOOhah: i want to see the horsey head
(03:43) hollyhox110: some really cool people moved in across the hall from me
(03:43) jonnyWOOhah: like chandler and joey cool?
(03:44) hollyhox110: they're married, but they're friends with me
(03:44) hollyhox110: and i can walk in their apt. w/o knocking
(03:44) hollyhox110: and we get coffee together a lot
(03:44) jonnyWOOhah: wow that's so sweet
(03:44) hollyhox110: and we're going to london next week
(03:44) hollyhox110: one of our other friends is getting married
(03:44) jonnyWOOhah: nuh uh?!
(03:44) jonnyWOOhah: really?
(03:44) hollyhox110: if you were here you'd probably slap me
(03:44) hollyhox110: i'm just being a smart ass
(03:44) jonnyWOOhah: oh ok
(03:44) hollyhox110: sorry
(03:45) jonnyWOOhah: that's ok...i still luv ya
(03:45) jonnyWOOhah: i should be there this weekend
(03:45) jonnyWOOhah: are you going to be around?
(03:45) jonnyWOOhah: "around"
(03:45) hollyhox110: yes, i'll be back from london by then
(03:46) jonnyWOOhah: excellent
(03:46) jonnyWOOhah: get me one of those cool hats
(03:46) jonnyWOOhah: i'll see what i can "get my hands on"
(03:46) hollyhox110: you "do" that
(03:47) jonnyWOOhah: have you seen the sweetest thing yet?
(03:47) hollyhox110: nooooooooooo
(03:47) hollyhox110: or spiderman
(03:47) hollyhox110: or batman
(03:47) hollyhox110: or robin
(03:48) jonnyWOOhah: superman's been out since '78 and you still ain't seen it?
(03:48) hollyhox110: i like to wait until the movie's older than me
(03:48) jonnyWOOhah: i understand
(03:48) jonnyWOOhah: sunday i'm going to hilton "head" with jud
(03:49) hollyhox110: you mean "jud"
(03:49) jonnyWOOhah: we're painting someone's house
(03:49) jonnyWOOhah: yeah, that's the one
(03:49) hollyhox110: sweeeeeet
(03:49) jonnyWOOhah: we get to live in their beach house for a wk while we paint
(03:49) hollyhox110: jud that i only meet when i'm drunk or he's drunk?
(03:49) jonnyWOOhah: yeah, that jud
(03:49) hollyhox110: thats awesome
(03:49) jonnyWOOhah: it'll be like american pie 2
(03:49) hollyhox110: with lesbians!
(03:52) jonnyWOOhah: hold on a few sex, my sister's calling me
(03:52) hollyhox110: mmm hmmm "sister"
(04:02) jonnyWOOhah: i don't think so.....
(04:02) jonnyWOOhah: you meant SEX
(04:02) hollyhox110: hahaha
(04:02) jonnyWOOhah: i wish i could make your comp. there scream sex every time i typed it in
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: SEX
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: SEX
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: SEX
(04:03) hollyhox110: hahahhaha shut up
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: whoa
(04:03) hollyhox110: you're making me laugh at work
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: oh
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: sex
(04:03) jonnyWOOhah: shhhhhhhhh
(04:03) hollyhox110: SHUT UP
(04:03) hollyhox110: hahhahha
(04:04) hollyhox110: ass
(04:04) jonnyWOOhah: ass-sex
(04:04) hollyhox110: woot!
(04:05) jonnyWOOhah: my name is woohah. jonny woohah.
(04:05) jonnyWOOhah: i'd like an LIT please. shaken, not stirred.
(04:06) hollyhox110: hahha are you drunk?
(04:06) jonnyWOOhah: no i wish
(04:06) hollyhox110: me too
(04:06) hollyhox110: not you
(04:06) hollyhox110: me
(04:06) hollyhox110: well, me too
(04:06) jonnyWOOhah: i think i have a caffeine buzz from all this coke...aine
(04:06) hollyhox110: hahahha shut up i can't stop laughing
(04:06) jonnyWOOhah: good
(04:07) hollyhox110: not good
(04:07) hollyhox110: i'm supposed to be working!
(04:07) hollyhox110: ass
(04:07) jonnyWOOhah: sex
(04:09) jonnyWOOhah: i had one last night at woody's...they were on special
(04:09) jonnyWOOhah: it was gross
(04:09) hollyhox110: ewww
(04:09) jonnyWOOhah: wait, i had 2 though
(04:10) hollyhox110: so they were gooooood
(04:11) jonnyWOOhah: well, more cheap than good
(04:11) hollyhox110: whats not to like? vodka = good
(04:11) hollyhox110: tequila = good
(04:11) hollyhox110: triple sec = good
(04:11) hollyhox110: gin = good
(04:11) hollyhox110: i can't remember what else is in it but you get the point
(04:12) jonnyWOOhah: custard...good
(04:12) jonnyWOOhah: whipped cream...good
(04:12) jonnyWOOhah: beef...good
(04:12) hollyhox110: hahahh good
(04:12) hollyhox110: i was hoping you'd get it
(04:13) jonnyWOOhah: i always "get it"
(04:13) hollyhox110: i know
(04:13) jonnyWOOhah: i'm talking about sex, if you know what i mean?
(04:13) hollyhox110: i "know what you mean"
(04:14) jonnyWOOhah: we ALWAYS know what you mean, joey
(04:15) hollyhox110: ummmm dammit
(04:15) jonnyWOOhah: dammit what?
(04:16) hollyhox110: i can't complete the transaction
(04:16) hollyhox110: did you get oceans 11 on dvd?
(04:17) jonnyWOOhah: no not yet, i'm sure gonna thought
(04:17) jonnyWOOhah: minus the T
(04:17) hollyhox110: mmmmmhmmmm meeee toooo
(04:19) jonnyWOOhah: so why can't you complete the transaction?
(04:19) jonnyWOOhah: if you know waht i mean
(04:19) hollyhox110: http://millennium.fortunecity.com/sherwood/734/tea.html
(04:19) hollyhox110: ummm because i have a wooden leg
(04:19) jonnyWOOhah: will this site explain to me why
(04:20) hollyhox110: no
(04:20) jonnyWOOhah: shut up, what are you talking about?
(04:20) hollyhox110: thats about LIT's i thought the headline was funny
(04:20) jonnyWOOhah: now i'm laughing
(04:20) hollyhox110: i'm just being stupid
(04:21) jonnyWOOhah: i know, i love you
(04:22) jonnyWOOhah: i "do"

The trick is to keep breathing.

This has been a crazy week. Tuesday I got home from work and I felt like I might be getting a urinary tract infection... I'm all too familiar with that annoying feeling that you have to pee all the time. It was bearable though so I decided to go to the dr. Wednesday. Some friends of Tom's were staying with us and they were playing a show downtown, so we were getting ready to go to that. But then I decided it was too annoying to wait to go to the dr., and I was going to go to Urgent Care and then meet Tom at the show. So I am driving to Urgent Care and my right side starts hurting, not terribly but just like a little cramp. I check in and fill out paperwork and the nurse takes my vitals and then the dr. tells me that my urinalysis was fine. By this time my side is hurting more, like it hurts to breathe, and I tell the dr. that. He does some pressing and poking and then decides to do an x-ray, because my lower right side is where my appendix is located and he wants to make sure everything is ok. So I call Tom and tell him and he rushes to Urgent Care. By the time he gets there I can barely stand, I am going in and out of consciousness because the pain is so bad, and I start throwing up. Since the x-ray was fine, the dr. says it must be a kidney stone, although nothing showed up on the x-ray it could be too small to show up. Which is a good thing that it's small. So the nurse gives me two shots, one in each hip, one for pain and one for nausea. They are THE MOST PAINFUL shots I have ever gotten in my life. My left hip just stopped hurting yesterday. The dr. tells Tom that if I am not better in an hour, to take me to the ER. It took about 45 minutes for me to feel better, but by then I was passed out. Since then I have been taking antibiotics and hopefully the stone is gone, who knows. The medicines make me feel groggy and tired and out of it and nauseous and they make me burp. I will be glad to be done with them. I am still in disbelief about having a kidney stone, I kinda thought they only happened to older or unhealthy people, but apparently they can happen to anyone, even babies or children.

Shady had an up and down week too... there is no pattern or reason to her blood glucose numbers. In the morning, when she is usually at her highest, twice this week she has been really low. Sometimes it's like the insulin doesn't help at all, and sometimes it helps too much. And it's getting harder and harder to test her, because for some reason her lip just will not bleed anymore. I have to prick the inside of her lip to get blood, and I HATE doing it. But I know I have to, so I do it. I have a rule though that if I don't get it within 3 tries, I give up (for then, anyway). I just can not bring myself to keep doing it. And this #!$%* tester is so picky about the amt of blood it gets. Just now I was testing her and I FINALLY on the 3rd try got a small drop of blood and got it on the strip and then it gives me a *%$#! error message. So 3 tries and a wasted testing strip. It is frustrating.

Yesterday was Shady's birthday too. She is 11 years old. That's old for a Rottweiler, esp. one that has been through so much in her life. Hip dysplasia, arthritis, cancer, now diabetes. Every year on her birthday I take her to the beach, but we didn't go yesterday since I am not feeling so great. So we're going to go next weekend, which works out even better since Tom will be back by then.

So I guess I'm going to go watch the Super Bowl and finish cleaning up. The house is getting appraised tomorrow for this refinancing stuff, so I'm trying to make it presentable. It's a challenge! Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Thoughts meander like the restless wind inside a letter box

Shady has a friend over this weekend! We are dogsitting Denise's dog Mailei. It was an adventure trying to walk the two of them this morning. Even though they are the same age (Shady will be 11 next Saturday!), Mailei walks sooo much faster than Shady! She was basically running circles around us. It is fun having her here though.

It's been a busy couple of weeks. I'm trying to refinance which means it feels like I have been buried in paperwork, but I think we will be closing soon. That will be good. Shady is doing ok... her insulin dosage has been increased twice since the last update... her lows are getting better, but the highs are still pretty high. So we are going to try the new dosage until Friday and then the vet will re-evaluate. It's encouraging though that they think the insulin is working enough to keep trying it rather than testing for other illnesses.


Katie was just here visiting and we had a good time even though it felt like she was only here for 12 minutes. She got here Thursday afternoon. We went for a run in the park, then went to dinner at The Oceanic, her favorite seafood restaurant. Friday we worked most of the day, then went to Tom's show at BlackHorn that night. Nicole, Greg, Denise, Erin, Nate, Tara, Dmeza, Scott and Jeremy all came too. It was a fun night. We stayed out much too late and then Katie had to pick up her rental car at 8 am Sat., she drove to Winston-Salem to see her parents, then was on to Charlotte to see her brand-new week-old niece Ashlynn who is absolutely freaking adorable! So while I wish she could have stayed longer, I know she was DYING to go see Ashlynn, and I will take whatever I can get. Now it's my turn to go see her in Atlanta... hopefully we won't have to go 9 months before seeing each other again!

Yesterday I had all these plans to get this work done... booking shows, submitting Tom to festivals, putting together media kits and creating an EPK (electronic press kit). However I got nothing done... we started watching The Wire and there was no hope of me getting anything done after that. That show is just really amazing -- honestly the best show on TV. The final season is on right now. Why is it that all of the best shows never last, esp. on HBO? Arrested Development, Deadwood, Extras, Rome, now The Wire.

So now today I have to make up for all the time I wasted yesterday. I've got two snoring dogs laying at my feet, a snoring husband in the bedroom, and I just started reading Love in the Time of Cholera. This could be challenging...

P.S. Nicole and Greg are engaged!!! I am soooo excited for them. When you are in their presence, you can't help but feel true love all around. Congratulations to you two!!

Painting without colors tends to make it better.

So I found a really informative site about Cushing's in dogs. I want to learn as much as I can about it. I am trying to be optimistic, but after 3 full days of testing Shady at home, the insulin still doesn't seem to be helping much. So I am trying to be realistic while also being optimistic. We'll see how the next couple of days go and what the vet decides, but I have a feeling we'll be doing more tests this week. If you're at all interested in learning about Cushing's, you can read it here.

Tom and I and Kristine and Mike went to the movies yesterday to see Juno. If you haven't seen it yet, you should go ASAP. It was so good. I really needed to laugh and even though the movie deals with a somewhat serious subject matter, it is completely freaking funny. And of course it stars two of the Bluths, so that just makes it worthwhile right there.

I also just downloaded the soundtrack from iTunes. The music was so great. Just take my word for it.

Jayla is starting dance class on Tuesday! I am really excited about this, because the girl obviously has talent (if you haven't seen her Dirty Dancing video yet, you need to go watch it now.

Tom's in Raleigh tonight playing at Amra's. I always wish I could go to his shows there with him, but he gets home around 3 am and it makes for a very long day for me on Monday after only getting a few hours of sleep. I used to be able to do that when I was in college... seriously, I might have gotten 8 hours of sleep once during my whole four years of college. Oh, how things have changed.

Whittaker Bay, the show that will be featuring some of Tom's music, premiered on WGN last weekend. We recorded it and watched it the other day. I'm not going to comment on the show... not really because I don't want to, but I had a hard time following the plot. I think the 5th episode will be the first one with Tom's music on it. I'll keep you guys updated.

The crown you've placed upon my head feels too heavy now.

Shady was at the vet again all day today. They tested her blood sugar at different times of the day, doing what is called a curve. She is up to 20 units twice a day (double her initial dose) and her levels were still off the charts. She was sent home and we are to try giving her 20 units twice a day and testing her regularly and keeping a chart of all of the information. After a week of doing this we're supposed to let them know what we've found out and see what they think. If she hasn't improved, they are going to do testing for Cushing's. I am trying hard to not be discouraged but it's hard when it doesn't seem to be helping at all. I would do anything I could for Shady, anything in the world, but unfortunately I don't have endless money. I am worried that even if or when they find out what's wrong, that I won't be able to afford to fix whatever it is. But I'm still hoping for the best because that's all you can do. Now I have to get used to all of the shots and pricking and blood and testing. I found one helpful website today though that I'm sure I will be checking a lot... www.caninediabetes.org. I made the mistake of reading the pet stories today and was bawling at work. I should have known better.

You'll dream about somewhere, a smoke will fill the air.

I was not happy when my alarm went off this morning. First of all because I haven't slept well in a few days and I am exhausted. But also because I almost NEVER have good dreams. But last night I did... anyone who knows me knows about my love for Dave Grohl. Love might be an understatement. Anyway, I dreamt last night that I went to a Foo Fighters conference in Bahrain. The first class I went to was something really boring that no one else wanted to go to, but I'd heard that DG was going to be making an appearance, so I went to that one. Before class started, two other people at the conference decided to get married, so everyone was outside at their wedding by the Indian Ocean. I remember looking at the ocean during the wedding and noticing that the waves were crashing in every direction, not just one like in normal oceans. So then we go back inside for class and we're waiting for it to start. I'm in the very back of the room looking at the stuff in the merch store. I was looking at a FF calendar and talking to my friend Reanna who all of a sudden was there, when DG himself walks in. I grab his arm and start acting like an obsessed fan, asking him if I can get my picture taken with him after class, if I can get his autograph... and he says "Sure!" Then he says that he'd really like to talk to me more, and can we stay up all night talking and drinking cheap wine? While he's saying this, he picks me up and kinda carries me. I kissed him on the cheek and said that I didn't think his wife would like that. Then my alarm goes off.

Such a beautiful kiss in the face of fear.

I took Shady to the vet this morning. They wanted to keep her all day and do more tests to see if her insulin dosage needed to be increased. I had a feeling that the dosage would have to be increased because she has been drinking soooooo much water. Well the insulin isn't helping her at all. Her blood sugar was actually higher than it was last time they tested her, even after giving her a slightly higher dosage than usual. So they want her to come back tomorrow and test her some more. They said it could be that she just needs a higher dosage, or a different type of insulin. It could also be that she has a disease in addition to diabetes which prevents her body from absorbing the insulin, possibly Cushing's. They said it could take 2 or 3 weeks of tests and stuff to figure out what's going on. I really hope that all she needs is just a higher dosage. So hopefully we'll get good news tomorrow afternoon.

happy birthday

to Jayla! She is 3 today. I can't believe she is only 3 and already 3. I can't really remember what life was like before she was born, so in that sense it seems like she has been here forever. Then on the other hand it seems like only yesterday. I have been debating staying here instead of going to her birthday party, but Tom will be staying in Wilmington for his show (Friday night at Black Horn), and he will take good care of Shady while I am gone. And I could use the distraction... I'm sure I'll have some pictures to post when I get back.

Winter weather is finally here, for a few minutes at least. Yesterday and today were in the 40s, but it's getting back up near 70 in a few days. You never know what to expect with NC weather sometimes!

And i'll be awful sometimes, weakened to my knees...

... and I'll learn to get by on the little victories.

Finally home from Shady's vet appt... she had an infection and they also confirmed what they had suspected for a while, that she is diabetic. Her blood sugar was extremely high... normal high is 143(per ML or MG or something), and hers was 415. So we have to start injecting her with insulin twice a day. I feel really sad about it right now but I hope she will be ok. I mean, she will be ok. She has to be. That's all there is to it.

This'll be the year that we won't forget.

It's Jan. 1 and I just went running, outside, in a tank top and shorts. It is 65 degrees out and SO nice. I love Wilmington weather sometimes... mostly in the winter. If only I could migrate north for the summers I would be okay.

Shady is sick right now and I feel so bad for her. The vet called in a prescription for antibiotics for her until they can see her tomorrow. :( Until then I will just pet her and hope that helps a little. I feel so helpless.

Anyway, happy new year! If you're a resolution-making type of person, good luck with your goals. I personally am not a fan of resolutions... but if I were going to make one, it would be this:

My New Year's resolution is to get at least 13 hours of sleep a night, regardless of what sort of job or family or life commitments I have, but to really be consistent about that.

!!!